this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
