i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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