Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Even my vagina gasped.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
