That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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