we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
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I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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