If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.