Banned from zoo.
Again?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have post one night stand depression
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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