Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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