when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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