have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize