i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
