I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What a dumb baby whore.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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