It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
