Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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