She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
