it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize