Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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