I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
