he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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