im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ambien. No doubt about it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
