so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
