ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
