Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
