It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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