He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
