I cockslap morals
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize