you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
