i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize