I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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