Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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