STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
