Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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