Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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