Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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