i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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