Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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