If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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