No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
