So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She announced her abortion via fbk
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
