Just fell off a train. Bad.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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