Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
