in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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