I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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