so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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