I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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