I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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