This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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