your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize