Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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