you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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