i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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