apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Mom said you looked used
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
