does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
