'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
